Talking Shape: Winter 2020 Newsletter

“Can you write about what the holidays mean to you? Oh, and I need it tonight?” That was my introduction to the Newsletter takeover that we have going on here this month. The word that first came to mind was “work,” the holidays mean work! If you are reading this, you may be like me, and you feel the crunch of placing an insurmountable number of events and tasks between Thanksgiving and the end of the year. You are probably the shopper, the wrapper, the decorator, the baker, the list-maker, the event planner, and the organizer. Somehow every year, it all gets done, and we arrive on Christmas morning having made it through a packed calendar, late-night wrapping sessions, and surviving the elves-let us not forget about the elves! So after that marathon, what does it all mean to me? It means traditions and memories.

I read a study once about memory and what causes us to remember some events better than others. It also focused on early memories and why some childhood memories stand out to us. They concluded that feelings/emotions and memories go hand in hand. When a feeling is attached to an event, it makes that event more memorable. Think back on events you remember from childhood. The ones you remember most vividly likely have an emotion tied to them. When I think of Christmas when I was young, I remember feeling excited! The gifts were not big-ticket items; they didn’t need to be. It was the one time of year there was something new just for me! I don’t know about you, but I did not grow up in a time when walking into a store like Target and coming out with something new was a thing. The rare exception was the pack of Fruit Stripe gum at the grocery store. So, my earliest memories of the holidays are memories of being dazzled and surprised.

As an adult with children, the holidays mean being intentional about the memories and traditions we are creating: memories and traditions for both myself and our family to enjoy. If feelings and memories go together, it matters to me that they have the memory of togetherness, the feeling of being connected, sharing a day, being cozy in Christmas pajamas. I hope they have the memories of a house that was festive and celebratory. We have also created traditions, some intentional, some unintentional, and some we have adapted in the process. For example, long before Elf on the Shelf exploded in popularity, Santa had another style of elf available from a local helper. I thought it would be cute to try one year. It was indeed super cute, but it lasted 10 (l-o-n-g) years-an unintentional tradition. I tried desperately to hang on to the tradition of cutting down a Christmas tree. The reality is I don’t like being out in the cold, watering a tree, or cleaning up needles. So, I traded in the memory of that fresh pine smell for a fake tree and a scented candle-adapted tradition. I don’t remember when exactly this started, but my husband has taken over the yearly ornaments for the kids for many years now. They match whatever they are into that year unless, hypothetically speaking, they aren’t ordered in time, then maybe it might be homemade (think kindergarten popsicle sticks and pipe cleaner style…hypothetically)-intentional tradition.

I stand by my initial knee jerk reaction that the holidays mean work. However, I know it isn’t the work that our kids see or will remember. The work is just a conduit to obtaining the memories and obtaining the traditions. Those are the things that bring out the meaning of the holidays. Those are the things that allow us to reflect fondly and create a recipe for magic that brings us back year after year, ready to do it all again. This year may challenge some of our traditions, and it will be a different kind of memory. Nonetheless, may your holidays be filled with those things that bring your heart joy and peace!